Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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