i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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