i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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