idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
