I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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