Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
