so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
