I hate your face
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
