so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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