OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
