If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
