I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
