i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
