is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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