Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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