Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
