she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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