The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize