He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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