guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize