Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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