??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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