she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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