Me. At least after what I've been through.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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