be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
