Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
