I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
