we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
