Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
