Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
