Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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