So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize