she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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