Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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