I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
