I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
