I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
