I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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