he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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