was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
worst night to have a conscience
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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