Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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