Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
