Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
