Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
