its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
