youre lurking in front of me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
