I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
