My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
