Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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