We won't sleep together?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got inside last night via doggy door
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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