It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
