Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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