That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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