So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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