I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
