Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
