i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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