I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
