Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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