i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
