Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
