Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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