Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
