I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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