am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
