could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
